I Couldn't Sleep Last Night!
"When I kept silent, my bones wasted away through my groaning all day long. For day and night your hand was heavy on me; my strength was sapped as in the heat of summer. Then I acknowledged my sin to you
and did not cover up my iniquity. I said, 'I will confess my transgressions to the LORD.' And you forgave
the guilt of my sin." Psalm 32:3-5
Have you ever done something and afterward thought, "Why did I do that?" Has someone ever said or done something that has really bothered you? Has the thing you did, or that was done to you, kept you up at night thinking about it?
A few weeks ago, I got to experience a long sleepless night because of something that I had done. What I did was not sinful, but could be classified as a dumb move, since I did not take time to consider the consequences. I laid in bed thinking about it, feeling very sad and bothered. I kept going over the incident wondering why it was bothering me so much after I had apologized to and was forgiven by everyone I had offended by my actions. Finally daylight came and I thought," Hooray, I can now get over it", but the sick feeling still remained in my stomach.
As the day went on, I thought of how a bad choice or an action of someone else can bother me so much I can’t sleep and feel sick. I realized that when I sin I usually don’t lose any sleep over it. Why not? Is it because I understand Jesus already paid for my sin, or is it because I take God’s forgiveness for granted? Maybe it’s a little of both.
Then I thought of Psalms 32:3-5, “When I kept silent, my bones wasted away through my groaning all day long. 4 For day and night your hand was heavy on me; my strength was sapped as in the heat of summer”. This is what I should be going through. When I’m taking forgiveness for granted I am only going through the motions of repentance. I then asked God to keep me awake at night until I repent as David did in vs. 5, “Then I acknowledged my sin to you and did not cover up my iniquity. I said, “I will confess my transgressions to the LORD.” And you forgave the guilt of my sin”, when he understood he had not truly asked for forgiveness.
This incident took place a few weeks ago and I have been sleeping just fine. Are you willing to ask God to keep you awake if you are taking your forgiveness for granted?
Posted on Wed, April 18, 2012
by Jim Coyle