Conflict Resolution

Jim Coyle

“In your anger do not sin: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry.”  Ephesians 4:26

When I was working as a police officer, one of the most common calls we responded to were family disturbances.  They were so common that we received special training on conflict resolution.  As I think back on this training, it did not teach me a lot about resolving the problem, it showed me ways to temporarily defuse the problem.  There is no way an outsider can resolve someone else's conflict.  It is up to the individuals involved to choose to resolve it.  Unfortunately, I can’t think of many situations where anyone was willing to resolve the problem.  They were so focused on being right that they would not listen to the other person, or be willing to admit they were wrong.  I saw many people “sin in their anger” both verbally and physically.

God’s Word gives us good direction on how to handle conflicts and anger.  Ephesians 4:26 tells us not to sin in our anger, and not to let it go on for a long period of time.

Prayer is the first step toward accomplishing this, then use the following steps to have conflict resolution with out sinning and bring peace back into your situation:

1.)  Don't bring up past hurts, focus on what the issue is today, not on what happened in the past.

2.)  Take time to really listen to the other person.  

3.)  Explain how the offense has made you feel.

4.)  Be willing to admit you're wrong.

5.)  Ask for forgiveness.

6.)  Be willing to forgive.


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