Anger and God-honoring Communication

Rather, speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ” (Ephesians 4:15).

“Therefore, having put away falsehood, let each one of you speak the truth with his neighbor, for we are members one of another” (Ephesians 4:25).

Many good conversations are destroyed by sinful anger. Additionally, poor communication habits can actually enflame anger toward us from others.

Examples of rude conversation

  • Long monologues
  • Poor listening skills
  • Emotionally charged language
  • Rudeness
  • Lack of consideration

Let’s look at how anger affects communication. When angry, we tend to force our opinions on others and insist on our own way. We enter the conversation with our minds made up, and will stop at nothing to get our way. We can also use words that do not build up, but rather tear down. When that happens, no conversation can end well.

On the other hand, good communication habits can reduce stress and the anger that goes with it. Looking above at examples of poor communication skills, we should reverse those habits to produce effective communications.

Listen to others. Many seek to just get their point across and only stop talking to catch their breath. They talk in long sentences, and give you the impression they do not want to listen to anything but their own voice. We, on the other hand, should treat each person with respect. Everyone has something to say.

Keep it calm.
Angry people cannot stay calm for very long. As the anger builds, their voice travels up the octave scale; it gets loud very quickly. Instead we should keep both words and tone calm, so that emotions do not bleed out and destroy the conversation. We should avoid attacking the person and instead seek to solve the problem without injuring anyone. Of course, we should avoid gossip and slander of any nature.

Show consideration.
Since God made everyone in the image of God, we should not discard someone because of their station in life. Nor should we dismiss them because their words seem irrelevant to us. We should rather demonstrate a kind demeanor toward everyone, and due consideration. We close with an encouraging word from the Apostle Paul:

“Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you” (Ephesians 4:32).

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